It was a normal day, for the first 5 minutes. I had just woken up, and I was eating breakfast. I happened to have the case of the sniffles. I then felt the way I always did before I sneezed. The rising feeling. Then I sneezed. Everything felt normal, until my mom tripped on a banana peel, which was not there a second ago, and fell on the ground. Then she got up to see the peel had sprouted legs, got onto a magenta unicycle, and got away. Now, this does not happen every day. Banana peels with legs are not an ignorable thing. When my mom walked over to me, we both agreed "What?".
When we finished the talk about "what", I went to school. Today was supposed to be a normal day. The regular math class, art class, et cetera. When I got to school, everything felt normal. I sat down, and the teacher started teaching. Then I felt the rising feeling again. Aaaa - Choo! No one noticed. But what everyone noticed was that a cat riding a rainbow unicycle had opened the door to the class, got in, and had started singing in the voice of Bart Simpson. It was singing Never Gonna Give You Up, and when it got to the chorus, it unicycled out. The class started immediately laughing, and you can't say they were disrupting the teacher because she had stopped her lesson about e = mc^2, and was, too, confused.
As you know, that is an odd occurance. Since the district thought that too, the got some teachers to ask the students if they had anything to do with it, e.g. having tought their magic talking cat to unicycle. When I was being talked to, I tried to explain.
"so, did you have anything to do with the thing?", my teacher asked. (They called it the thing.)
"Well when I sneezed this morning...", I tried.
"So nothing", my teacher said.
"Well...", I calmly retaliated.
"Okay", my teacher responded. And the conversation was done like that. Now, I would have to keep it a secret or no one would believe me. And that would be hard.
The next day, I was worried. Sneezing was a hard thing to prevent. When I got to school, I was just thinking about the sneezing thing. I also could tell that everyone else was, too, but not the sneezing part. At about 10:00 AM, I was in spanish class. The teacher was telling us that estornudo meant sneeze in spanish, and I was bored. So bored that I accidentally sneezed. But not bored enough to notice that a juggling donkey wearing a party hat with "MADE IN USA" enscribed had unicycled into the class, eating chocolate chip pizza. The donkey was juggling to the beat of "Party in the USA", played from a speaker on top of the pizza, and once it got to the chorus, it backfliped out of the classroom onto its unicycle, and unicyled away.
Now, if they at the time, had they known that I had told you the secret, they would've killed me. But more likely, given a "Sorry you are expelled" e-mail straight to my parents. They specifically told each and every single student from 3 classrooms away from that classroom that it would "not be talked about on campus". One kid actually posted about the sightings on social media, and that video was the last time kids at school saw his face. If you think that the detectives had a lead, you would be right. Each of them had a miniature cow lead. The security cameras also showed the donkey unicycling quietly up the stairs to the classroom, and turning on the speaker right as it unicycled in.
I knew that the detectives weren't going anywere, so I decided to do my own research. When I was at home, I looked up "sneeze detecting unicycling animals" on Google, and nothing popped up. I then paced my house trying to make sure the FBI weren't around after seeing that search. Once I was finished and my anxiety had gone away, I refined my search. "unicycling animals" gave me too many Youtube videos, so I tried "unicycling animals gone rougue". I then got a Reddit post about how someone had been an animal unicycle trainer, their animals were sensitive to high pitches, and they had watched a video with such an elevated pitch that they all ran away and they didn't see them again. The Redditor said they were near where I lived, so it could not just be a joke.
The next day, I intentionally sneezed. I know, I know, I know. I shouldn't have risked it. But I had to investigate. This time, a unicycling capybara came to me. But this time I grabbed it. That capybara proceded to talk to me.
"Hey knock it off", the capybara said.
"Ah! What huh umm how...", I attempted.
"Oh! Have I not introduced myself yet? I am Cappyson Capper Capps the capybara. You can call me Tel.", Tel said.
"Why Tel?", I said as I resumed my consciousness.
"Well my team used to cal me Triple C as a nickname, which turned into TC, which turned into Telecision, which turned into Tel.", Tel said.
"Tel, what do you mean 'Team'?", I asked.
"Oh I am part of a team of magical animals who competitively unicycle for fun. We learn at Unicycling Sports for Animals, called 'USA', which is a undercover orginization that teached unicycling to wizardly animals.", Tel explained.
"Why were you coming when I sneezed?", I asked.
"I don't know, just because we felt like it.", Tel answered.
I now write this as a teacher at Unicycling Sports for Animals, near a warm fireplace in the magical fortress. That was the story of how I joined, and that was a turning point in my life. That Reddit post also had nothing to do with it, but I kept it bookmarked just in case.